Today, I had a very tiring day. It started by today, I have to wake up DAMN early, around 6 a.m to get ready to go to Tampines West Community Centre to attend the Student Forum there. The forum starts at 8 a.m till 3.30p.m. I and 2 other committee members and 1 sub-committee member from the other CCA were involved.

I thought that the forum will be between student leaders from various polytechnic. But it turns out to be that we are the only polytechnic students that were invited. Other tertiary school students that were invited is 5 students from Tampines JC. And about 80% of the paticipants are secondary school students. I was like "DID I GO TO THE WRONG FORUM!" But soon we found out that it is actually a forum between all the instutions within the tampines area. So yup, we have to mingle, play games and discuss with the secondary school kids. Not bad, I like it though.

GAMES? Yes! There's games and running around and THEY CALL THAT A FORUM! I think they have to check the dictionary again. But it is only the first half of the event and then we proceed to normal discussion on certain topics. But I still think, the word FORUM should not be use. I feel like I've been cheated. HAHA! Not only that, when I was inform of the invitation by this SAA person, she asked us to wear smart casual. However, when we went there, we were given a t-shirt for us to change to. SO WHAT'S WITH THE SMART CASUAL? They can just asked us to where normal clothings so I don't have to waste my time to decide which of my smart clothes to wear.

I don't feel comfortable initially but luckily the facilitators there are mostly, an ex-TP students. So it doesn't feel that uncomfortable because WE ARE FAMILY! HAHA!

Anyway, all of the participants were allocated into different groups. So for the first half of the event, we have the games session. So we have to run around to different games stations ala Amazing Race. Then after that we played the HUNTER, FIRE, EARTHQUAKE games and also build a very tall structure using only a number of magazines provided to each group.

Then later, I was interviewed by this reporter. He looks familiar though. If I'm not wrong, he's a reporter for Suria news. Then he asked me all sorts of questions and SUDDENLY, Mr MasAgos (I think he's the Minister for Tampines GRC) came in. I was shocked but I manage to maintain my COOL! He was suppose to grace the event as GOH but I dunno when he will be coming down to the place. So I'm stuck between him, reporter, event organiser and several other guests. OUH MY GOD! HOW EMBARASSING IS THAT! But Mr MasAgos makes me feel comfortable. He asked me several questions. I manage to answer him with full of confidence. I GUESS? However, eventually, I found myself to be the EXTRA among the crowd. So I decided to move out from the crowd and join my group back who is at the other end of the hall and discussing on topics regarding YOUTHS.

So for the other half of the event, we have discussion sessions. We discuss on how to improve the CC in order to make it more youth-friendly.

Overall, I kind of like the event. I manage to meet lots of people. And in my group there is this 2 secondary school girls. One is sweet and pretty and the other one is CRAZY! She reminds me of one of my primary school friends. This primary school friend of mine, likes to talk very loud and laugh when she's sleepy, tired, and all other weird reasons. And this is what I experience with this girl. The first part of the event, she was OK. But then when it comes to the other half, she turns into a laughing gas. She started to talk CRAP! Asking questions which was out of the topic that we were discussing. Then she said, "HAHA! When I'm tired I tend to go CRAZY. HAHAHAHAHA!" But anyway, she's very STRAIGHT FORWARD person. VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD. She can just SLAP you literally with her questions or statement.

So this girl was asking for my handphone number and email address. I also did asked her the same thing. Then she asked me to give her my photo so she can put it in her contact. So when I call her, my photo will be dispayed. I was unwilling to give it to her. I mean like WE JUST MET! However, I didn't hear her properly so I thought she asked me to take her photo from her phone and using bluetooth to transfer to my handphone. I felt quite weird though. But I did. Then when I found out that it was actually not suppose to be like that, I was SO PAISE! I FEEL LIKE I'M A PERVERT! Take a girl photo without permission. HAHA! But she allow me to have it since she didn't say anything when I show her the photo I took from her phone. However immediately, I delete her photo from my handphone. Anyway, I didn't give my photo to her because I bluff her and said that, I'll give my picture later because I have feedback forms to fill up. Then immediately after the whole event, I and the other 2 committee members rush back home. HAHA! SCARED OF GIRL! No lah. It's just that she's UNDERAGE mah! So must be very cautious lah a little bit....

I went home after that and then have to go down again to vote for the HDB Upgrading Package. We were given this lucky draw after the voting at the polling station but TOO BAD, we didn't win. While accompanying my father voting, I saw my CCA member. She lives at the same neighbourhood and her mother was part of the RC committee I think. So she was also helping out in the voting event. Then she asked me whether I want to be part of the YOUTH WELFARE COMMITTEE thingy for the RC there. So I asked her to give more details about it. So she asked me for my handphone number to get back to me. I was like WAH! I'M SO POPULAR TODAY! ANYBODY ELSE WANTS MY HANDPHONE NUMBER! HAHA!

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Tired

Today, I went to school to print out some stuff. My printer has no black ink therefore all the other ink can't be use. How ridiculous? Just because of one ink empty, the other coloured ink catridges is not working. Then I have to go all the way to school to print which the printer there can only use the black ink. TODAY IS ALL ABOUT BLACK INK!

However, I don't mind anyway because if I stayed at home also I'll be bored. So why not go out and breath in the fresh air. But wait, I smell something. Ouh my cologne. I think my cologne is like killing me. I think I've used too much. While I was at the bus, I was having headache because my cologne smell is all over me. Too overwhelming! "TAKE THAT ZUHAIRI! PUT MORE LAH. NEXT TIME FINISH UP THE WHOLE BOTTLE!" Haha! I hope the smell didn't bother the rest passengers..

Anyway, I suddenly was thinking of this iritating auntie who was working at the Delifrance opposite the CHIJMES.(now the outlet closed already) It was a long time ago when I was waiting for my O level results. I was working there also. This auntie really irritates me because she likes to complain the way I work. There's nothing I do that will please her. I don't know why. Anyway, I don't give a damn about her because firstly, she's not my manager. She's just the dishwasher there. Secondly, the managers there like my way of work. So why bother with that lady.

So one day, when I reach at my workplace and went in to the kitchen to prepare some stuff. She was at my back and then she told me, "WAH! YOU WEAR PERFUME AH. VERY STRONG LEH! I CANNOT OPEN MY EYES! NEXT TIME DON'T WEAR TOO STRONG LAH! WHERE LITTLE BIT ONLY!"

I was so angry and told myself, "NEXT TIME I COME TO WORK, I WEAR EVEN MORE COLOGNE UNTIL YOUR EYES TURNS BLIND!" I really cannot take it at that point in time because she's been complaining whatever I do like as if she's the BOSS. I don't mind you want to complain my work because I know, I'm new there. But don't control my personal stuff lah.. That's really irritating!

Working at there, has been such an experience especially when I was praised by this european lady because I make GOOD COFFEE! Not only that. At that outlet, there are lots of europeans customer. So sometimes, you will be slapped with a very thick british accent. At that point of time, you will feel how bad your english are! haha!

I still remember once, when I was serving this two pretty european ladies. I prompt them to make order and she come out with this very DAMN thick British accent, "dfgsbgnsjshgndghjdhgjkdhjk....tea please". I was like so nervous because I can't hear anything else except the last part which is TEA. So I tried my luck and said, "So you want TEA is it?". Then she said, "Nope! I want vzdfbgfnshh..tea please". And accidentally, I spontaneously show my puzzled face in front of them and said, "HUH! Is it TEA?"
Then the lady gets irritated and repeat her order. Guess what? I still can't understand them. And in the end, she gave up and said angrily, "Alrite! TEA THEN!" And I was like , "THANK GOD, YOU'VE ORDERED SOMETHING THAT I UNDERSTAND!"

Such an experienced.. but in the end, I still quit about 1 months later because the workload was very heavy and the rate was like $4.50 per hour. NOT WORTH IT!

Actually, I am still at school while typing this entry. So now, I want to go home. Very tired leh. And later I and my mother will be going to look for herbs for my lovely, adorable cat, BOBOY. He's been sick lately. He has blood in his urine. I'm so worried about him. The first time it happened, we gave him some medical food and he looks better but today, it happens again. So must look for herbs for cats. No need to buy. You need to search for it and it is usually at grassy areas. My mother knows. And it really works for cats...

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Worried

Today is a cold day. I LIKE! I feels like I'm in London..haha!

Initially, there's nothing much I want to write for today. But when I read one of my friends blog regarding this stupid person with a businessman image, it reminds me of this incident that I just can't forget about. It happens around this year.

One fine night while I was doing my project, I received a call from this lady who claim she's from this company. And then she said that I was nominated to attend for a job interview. I was so shocked because I didn't even apply for any job recently. I thought I was just being lucky especially when she use the word "NOMINATED".

So I did went for that interview, and guess what? It was an interview for a sales job. Argh! I so hate selling! I didn't know about it until the interviewer inform me about the job scope. At the point of time I was like "PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE!" But as usual, I remained calm. And by the way, the product I have to sell is this "healthy mineral water"! It comes in bottles and also in a big water container.

So after the interview, I had to go training on the day itself with this lady who claims to make a fortune out of this stupid sales job. She go through with us (me and other people who seems are forced to be there) the several strategies in selling this stupid drink. Its something like the more you sell, the more points will be given and with higher points, you will be promoted to become manager and other bonuses like mercedes cars and other stuff.

After the boring briefing, she convinced us to take this job. She said something like this, "This is the chance for you to make fortune out of this job. Now you see, I'm now enjoying my life. So anybody here who has reasons why not to take this job?" Then I said that I have SIP soon so I may want to consider it first. Then this lady said, "Why u have to consider? There's nothing you can lose what? This is like so typical of Singaporeans. They like to consider opportunities that are in front of them." I was like SO MAD. So means what, she's not Singaporean ah..And by the way, Singaporeans is not as STUPID as you! Different people has different interest and not like you, interested in selling a PATHETIC water bottle!

Then after that, we were introduced with this male manager. He has this CEO kind of image with the blazer and tie etc. The people around him who are working in the same company address him as Mr ....... (i forget his name). We met him at this cafe and guess what drink he bought? A SMALL GLASS OF PLAIN WATER.. Cheapo sia! So he was telling us about him didn't complete his secondary school studies and got this sales job and TA DA! He's a manager now by just selling drink! Then he said roughly like this, "So you guys should consider taking this job. You don't have to study. You study hard for what?". Then he looked at me. I answered that it's for long term investment. Then he said," WHY YOU HAVE TO WASTE YOUR MONEY AND TIME TO GET A DIPLOMA CERTIFICATE WHICH JUST COST $0.40 PER PIECE. You look at me, at this age, I no need to work so hard, I got enough money to retire also. Some more ah, you study hard also for what? You know or not? SINGAPOREANS WHO STUDY HARD THEN WORK PART-TIME AT FAST-FOOD OUTLET IS MUCH MORE LOW CLASS THEN THE BANGLADESHI WHO WORK AS A CONSTRUCTION WORKER. The bangladeshi work at a construction and get paid more than $1000/month while those work at the fast-food outlet get lesser than that per month."

I was CURSING LIKE MAD AT THAT ASSHOLE. In my heart lah definitely. For me, I think he's mindset is definitely very short-term. I'm telling you if one day, the company goes bankcrupt, this guy are going to suffer. Some more, I don't like him looking down at people which in this case the bangladeshi and the fast-food staffs. Without them, i think YOU GO PREPARE YOUR OWN BURGER LAH! AND THEN YOU BUILD YOUR OWN HOUSE WITH YOUR MINERAL WATER SALES INCOME! And by the way, I am more willing to work at fast-food outlet than working as this stupid salesperson and being called a manager or CEO and soon finds out that he's qualifications is just a PSLE certificate. HOW PATHETIC!

For me, I don't mind whether you have PSLE certificate only or not, but don't look down on people who has been studying hard to get high qualifications. Don't think you have lots of money, you can control the world. And don't expect people to have the same dreams as you who only knows about getting more money. Each of us are unique and has their own dreams. If everybody is to be like you, then the whole world will be polluted with mineral water bottles. SO GET A LIFE!

Since then, whenever I saw people wearing businessman like, I didn't straight away say " WAH! BUSINESSMAN! SO GOOD! " Because sometimes the person you are looking at is just a PATHETIC SALESPERSON WHO CLAIM HIMSELF A MANAGER BY SELLING A MINERAL WATER!

I think his motto is:

BE RICH! SELL STUPID WATER BOTTLE!

NO NEED TO STUDY! RETIRE EARLY!

NEED TO GET A LIFE! BE SICK!

NEED HELP! BE PATHETIC!

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Irritated

So dramatic this past two days. But that's life. There ups and downs that we have to face. I don't want to think about what happened recently. I hope that whatever problems I faced will come to an end.

Again, today there's nothing much that I have to do. I'm telling you guys, I'm getting fatter. Damn! However, don't worry, find lorry, don't sorry!.. I'm going to start my healthy lifestyle soon. But when? Hmmm... I was thinking of last week.. But you know, I'm quite busy.. haha! EXCUSES! Arghh! That's me.. When I want to start something(e.g revision, projects), I usually took a very long time to start. But when I start doing it. I will keep doing it non-stop..(probably because the dateline is near.. Duh! HAHA!)

Whatever it is , my life is getting better. I think all this mentoring stuff really gets in the way. And now, I'm going to step down soon as the president. Its not that I don't like the CCA. In fact, I join it because I like it. But there's lots of conflicts in the committee which just makes my work as a president so uninteresting. I mean as a president , your job is to plan out strategies to enhance the effectiveness of the CCA and stuff. I did manage to do it. But I think I was more to handling conflicts then doing other productive matters. But what to do, for the sake of the CCA, I have to face all these because I don't want my juniors or the next committee to face the same problem again. It's very depressing I'm telling you. So I don't want them to face the same thing as I did. Basically, as I told some of the committee members that, what this committee is doing now is building and strengthening the foundation. Thus, for the next committee, they are the ones that will build it up further. I wish my juniors all the best!

So yup, currently, I'm waiting for my attachment. According to relevant sources, I will be inform of which company I will be attached to, by this week. I hope I'll be posted to company that I like.

By the way, while I was going into my sister's room, I saw my cat sleep in a very cute pose.

His name is BOBOY... Can say he's a spoilt brat of a cat. He likes to sleep in my wardrobe. My wardrobe has the sliding door so when he wants to sleep, he will use his paws and push the door to the side. Thus causing my shirt to be coated with his fur. THANKS BOBOY! He also like to sleep on the bed as in the picture. Furthermore, when he wants to eat, he will wait for me or whoever to go to the kitchen, and then he will bite my leg to give me the signal "I'm hungry damn it!" . Whatever it is, he's still adorable...

Ok! I think I've type too much.. So ADIOS AMIGOS BERAMBOS!

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Happy

Today you sms me and apologise to me. I guess you have already read my blog entry...

If you want to know:
I have always forgive you. I would also would like to apologise to you because I know I also contributed to the conflicts in some ways. So please forgive me...

If you want to know:
I never look down on you as what you wrote in your message. In fact, I'm very proud of you as you are a woman with ambition. In addition, looking down on people is not my personality. It does not bring any good to me. If I do look down on people, it will make me feel proud. But it doesn't bring me to reality where there are other people who are better than me. So please stop accusing me...

If you want to know:
I feel sometimes you take things to the extreme. It's not that I don't want you to be involve in the work. Sometimes the degree of involvements differ according to the situation. Sometimes you force people to accept to your suggestion without a strong support for it. When we rejected, you start to show faces. Then you start not talking to me because of that. You are being unprofessional by mixing work and friendship together. Suggestions and ideas are to be shared and not to be forced. So please don't misunderstand me...

If you want to know:
The existence of this blog is for me to express my emotions within. Thus, whatever you might misunderstood me when you read this, is up to you. The most important thing is, I'm the one who wrote, I'm the one who understands it. It is all that matters. So please read with an open mind...

If you want to know:
I didn't reply to your message not because I'm still angry with you. It is just that I need time to settle down. I need time to reflect. So please give me some time...

If you want to know:
" Masalah yang melanda,
Datang tanpa diduga,
Mengoyahkan persahabatan kita,
Yang sekian lama terbina..."

" Bukan aku tak maafkan,
Bukan dirimu ku jarakkan,
Hanya ingin kita dapat ketenangan,
Untuk damaikan keadaan..."

" Biar reda masalah lalu,
Biar tenggelam dilema dulu,
Hingga keizinan dijamin waktu,
Keadaan kan pulih kembali padu...."

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Mixed Feelings

It is not that I don't want to talk to you. It is just that I need time to be away from you. There is too much conflicts that's been happening between us that I just want to avoid you so as not to make things worse for us.

I'm an observant guy and you are the expressionist lady. It is very disturbing to see your negative facial expressions everytime when I see you.

I need time to be away from you:
After you try to behave to take control of stuffs which you are not suppose to. Its good to take initiative but you must know where you stand. People are not appointed to be a leader or organiser for nothing. They have roles to play. In fact, we, including you agree to the plan. So why you have to step up and make decision to change plan last minute without discussing with me (organiser). Therefore, people involved in the event was confuse of who to listen to because of that decision you've made.

I need time to be away from you:
After we met in the bus station and I told you that I've been promoted. You look at me and you said that you are happy for me. But one thing you didn't realise, that I 've notice some dissapointment on your face. However, I'll try to ignore it. Then things get worse as you treated me like I'm your competitor. Thus, I feel that you are not being sincere about what you've said. You aren't happy for me. And if you think I'm competing with you. You are wrong. You are actually competing with yourself...

I need time to be away from you:
After we met at the cafe to straighten things out. You've told me that you were expecting that you will be promoted as one of the previous committee members told you so. In addition, the previous president gives you lots of presidency work to do thus you felt like that. You also told me that you felt vulnerable because I receive an award. You felt that I'm becoming egoistic. For me, I felt is alrite for you to expect the position because if I were you, I also will feel the same. But I didn't ask for it. In fact, when I was told to accept the promotion, I have doubts whether I can carry the responsibilities. The previous committee encourage me to take it and so I did to see how well I manage to handle the work. For the award, I study hard for my exams and I always do. I do it for myself and not to compete with people. In fact, I did not even know the award exist in the world until then. Lastly, I did not change. I am always what I am. You are the one who change. Even other people said that. I'm dissapointed that I thought you will be happy for me as a friend but I was wrong...

I need time to be away from you:
After I found out that you've told people about our conflicts. I have been keeping it from people because I just wants it to be only between both of us. But now, I felt there's no use to keep it as people can already smell it...

I need time to be away from you:
After you did not want to talk to me during the workshop. When I talk to you, you are like unwillingly respond to me. It is so obvious as I can see your facial expressions. Then later I found out that you felt offended because you and the other members are not ask to be involve in organising the event. You are the one that shows that you're not interested to help out. When giving you the work, you do it half-heartedly. So how am I going to give you the other big tasks. Whatever it is, you shouldn't mixed work and personal life. If work is the problem, settle this professionally and not ain't talking to me as a friend. That is being unprofessional...

I need time to be away from you:
After you questioned on why the points is not the same as the previous times. Why the points given is so little taking considerations of your post? Not even a "THANK YOU" and you come out with this ungrateful question.. By the way, you did not ask me. You ask other people who later inform me about your doubts. How interesting can it be! You know that I'm the one submitting the points. Then when answers had been given, you then said that it's too late to do anything already. If it is too late, then why you ask at the first place? I really don't understand...

I need time to be away from you:
After so much you have done to me, I'm emotionally affected. And therefore I decided to avoid you. I need time to settle down. I need time to reflect as I want to know where did I go wrong as I know that I can't only blame you for this. I need time to calm myself down. And I can't deny that I'm feeling much more relax when I'm away from you...

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: dissappointed

Recently, I face many problems which really makes me feel vulnerable. However, I manage to control my feelings. That's why people out there everytime see me as a happy guy but actually deep within my heart, there are many things that really disturbs me.

As we get older, the challenge we face are different when we are younger. It becomes more complicated and really testing on our decision making skills. If you take the wrong step, things will be worsened. For me, I don't know whether I took the wrong step or not.. But one thing thats clear, this problem is like getting worser.

Yesterday, I manage to spent time with myself after being so busy with all the work I have to do. I manage to muhasabah diri (do some reflections) on some of the incidents and problems I've been facing. And it really helps. I'm able to think more clearly and wisely.

All these incidents that happens to me, has really open my eyes on how problems that you never ever expected to occur, did occur and thus caught you unprepared. I'm so stress up when talking about it. For me, I'm not a materialistic person because I prioritize my family, religion and friends. But sometimes some friends does not deserve to be prioritize because they just don't. If they don't care about me and doesn't take the initiative to take care of my feelings, why should I? Why everytime I have to take care of their feelings? It's not fair... However, I'm a compromisable and forgivable person. I know human beings are not perfect including myself. People do make mistakes. So I like to forgive people but each individual do have their own limits. So when you make mistakes don't keep on repeating it...

Haiz.. I really don't know what to do now...

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Confuse

At last! This blog is done!

Wow! I can't believe I have my own blog! Before this, I'm not into this blogging but recently, I've been seeing blog as a place for me to express my feelings especially negative feelings. Is not good to keep bottling up within yourself as you may go NUTS! So I hope by having this blog, I will be able to express my emotions within...

Ok! So here, in this blog, I've put this song, GET HERE - OLETA ADAMS. I like this song as it is very soothing to the ears. In addition, I like the lyrics. Biaselah, aku ni jiwang sikit...(I like to drench myself with touching lyrics)

This will be my first entry... many more to come... I have lots to express... But now, I'm tired... So CHOW CHIN CHOW!

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Happy