Tommorow will be the day where I will know which company I'll be posted to for my attachment. Tommorow will be the SIP launch. It's something like a 1 day course to prepare students for their attachments. Hopefully, I'll be posted to a good one..

Alright! Today is Sunday and I'm not going out today. I can feel the boredom already. I'm still waiting for my tutoring assignment. I hope I get it..

And just now, Cikgu Asmadi ask me to inform BUDAK-BUDAK SAJAK to help BUDAK-BUDAK JOGET for their SYF this Tuesday, like that time we helped them. Korang nak tak? There will be an overnight camp on Monday but not compulsory for the helpers. The purpose of the overnight is that, the competition starts at 8a.m so they have to get ready by 6a.m. I think the overnight is a good idea for the us to meet up and spent time together also. But on tuesday, I'll just be helping out till 8 a.m because I have my SIP training at 9a.m. I'll be learning how to use the Microsoft XP Excel..

do you feel what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Bored

Yesterday, I was watching MUZIKA EKSTRAVAGANZA on Suria. It is a performance show which involved artist from Malaysia and Singapore. And at the same time, Channel 5 was showing A Cinderella Story. So I have to keep on changing channels..

Talking about MUZIKA EKSTRAVAGANZA, what I can say is, I don't like one of the female artist there! What is she trying to show? She is better than the other artist is it? I don't like her especially when she sang other artists' songs. She will usually use high tone and sometimes, she will just go to the extreme and try to hit the Mariah Carey's highest tone, which of course, the songs doesn't require her to do that. But of course she can't make it, so it ended up sounded like a Pontianak's shriek. I don't mind if you want to sing high tone or whatever SHIT you wanna do, but at least have a respect to the original composer and the singer of the songs lah! Unless if it is your songs, than it's YOUR PROBLEM ! Sometimes, a song doesn't require a high tone because it doesn't match with the lyrics. And what I usually observe is that she will try to be the SHOW OFF especially during the finale where all the artists are on the stage where they will sing together. And there, the SHOW OFF ASSHOLE will be shouting at the top of her voice adding the UUUH AND THE AAAAHH to the song. Even SITI NURHALIZA, the well-known DIVA, didn't do that...

And what's with this paticular male artist! He's all over MEDIACORP CHANNELS except SURIA, VASANTHAM CENTRAL and KIDS CENTRAL. He such a OLD HERO lah. Go find an actor more younger and charming to be the hero for a drama. And I don't like his WANNABE BRITISH ENGLISH ACCENT! For goodness sake, I can see you are faking through with your accent. Just be yourself.. And stop with the faces when you are talking in your pathetic BRITISH ENGLISH ACCENT. He's so over-exposed!

By the way, while I was sleeping yesterday, my cat, BOBOY (the one at the right in the picture) woke me up in the middle of the night. He was meow-ing so loudly and he sounds very angry. Then I found out that there was a stray cat outside my house and BOBOY was not please with the cat. So his fur was standing up. I was so scared to touch him because I scared he might attack me. So I woke my mother up to help me out. So my mum slowly stroke his head to calm him down. Then carry him into my sister room and lock him in while we chase the stray cat out of sight. After that, we let Boboy out again. Luckily its Boboy and not NICKIE( the one at the left in the picture). If its Nickie, I think my mother would have been attacked by him already. Nickie was another cat of mine. He's adorable also but he's quite violent and he may turn to be the most dangerous animal around when he saw a stray cat. HAHA! Really! I've been attacked by him quite a few times at the leg. And it really HURTS! But he's been missing since last month. I hope he's not being harmed by heartless people outside there...

do you feel what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Bored

Today, I'm suppose to go cycling at East Coast Park with Nick, Harry and Kian Ming. But due to the weather forecast that reported it will rain today, the plan was cancelled. So maybe we'll go tomorrow then. But still have to check the weather forecast for tomorrow...

And yup. Now I'm at home. Nothing much to do. I'm getting bored and I'm having a headache because too much of lying down. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING! What I can only think of right now is FOOD! That's what I usually think of when I'm bored. Luckily I have a blog to occupy myself with.

I was reading one of my friends blog and her entry reminds me of my problems with my self- esteem. Can say my self esteem now are better compared to the time when I was in secondary school. During my primary school, I have no issues regarding my self-esteem because I was too young to give a damn about it. My self esteem was low mostly due to my image. I'm quite fat when I was in secondary school and I gain more weight until I graduate.

During my primary school years, I look good. Initially I was underweight, until I reach primary 4. Then my weight was acceptable until secondary 1. When I moved to secondary 2, my weight increases and until in secondary 4, I have to join TAF club because I'm overweight. HAHA! During this period where I'm overweight, I've been fighting with my self-esteem. I've been criticised and teased by people. IT HURTS. Duh! I'm a human being and I have feelings. But it depends to a certain extent. Sometimes, they didn't mean to hurt me but just taking it as a joke because I, myself making it like so. I'm not and don't want to be a VERY SENSITIVE person who cannot even take a slightest joke. It really helps when you turn your weaknesses into a joke because you showed to people that you are not going to be affected by such jokes and due to that, people will tend to joke lesser. However, everything has its own limits. I can't accept a criticism by someone who are no better than me. For example, a big fat person criticising me because I'm fat. I mean like "GO FIND YOUR MIRROR LAH DUDE!"

And talking about that, I have a cousin who are about 10 years older than me. He is fat and yet everytime when he came to my house and without fail, he will call me names such as FATTY in front of people. And then, when I reply and said, "YOU ALSO NO BETTER THAN ME WHAT?"(in a politely joking manner) He replied, "NO WHAT? THIS IS CALLED MUSCULAR AND NOT FAT". I was like "THEN HOW YOU EXPLAIN YOUR BIG FAT BELLY? OVERDOING YOUR CRUNCHES UNTIL IT TURNS INTO 1 WHOLE BIG PAC IS IT!"

I don't mind if you wanna joke around with me. But if everytime you did it, it turns to be VERY IRRITATING. Then he also try to be the NUTRITIONIST for the day when he said to me, "THE RICE DON'T EAT TOO MUCH. HALF THE PLATE ONLY. " And during that time, I was about to have my lunch and scooping the rice. Argh! How irritating can it be?

There are also other people with different incidents which I faced that affects me indirectly and directly until my self-confidence became very low. I will feel very uncomfortable being in a crowded room or places, alone. The reason is that, I will feel that this people there will be criticising and looking down at me but who knows, in fact, they are not. Maybe it's just my feelings.

So last year, one fine day, I was thinking about it and said to myself, "HOW LONG AM I GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?". So I analyse the situation. And find the cause of it which is actually my image and weight which makes some people look down on me and thus, cause my confidence level to be very low. So I decided to lose weight to solve this problem and also for my own good. And I did. YEAH! I lost 17kgs in 3 months.

GUESS WHAT? My irritating cousin now no longer criticise me and instead he criticise himself. HAHA! Funny person. But he's losing weight also. I wish all the best for him. And my confidence level had also improved. But there's still more to improve on. It just needs time.

And lastly, I'm glad to have friends who have been very supportive and taking care of my feelings. You guys makes me feel very secure when I'm with all of you. THANK YOU FRIENDS!

do you feel, what I'm feeling now?

Labels: Bored